August '16

August '16

The Story

During its August meeting, the Supreme Sock Council became divided on the topic of material composition. The proud believers in the traditional cotton composition, the self-proclaimed Devout Cotton Front (DCF) got challenged by a progressivist dissident group. The Proud Bambooist Movement (PBM), as the opposition dubbed itself, obstinately demanded taking advantage of the height of summer to produce a bamboo sock. They argued that this textile is better suited for the warm weather, because the thin bamboo yarn breathes more, while also boasting natural antibacterial properties. The staunch cottonists however countered that bamboo filament, as thin as it may be, has a shorter longevity and may quicker succumb to wear and tear. The motion to settle this stalemate by having representatives of both the DCF and PBM fight to death was rejected due to a lack of volunteers. This is unfortunate, because if successful, the contest would have resulted in an odd number of remaining Councilors and precluded future stalemates. The Council was thus left with no other solution than to choose a less martial and more gentlemanly competition: sock toss. The winner, with an incredible 12 meters and 3 centimeters (39 ft and 5 inches), secured the victory for the progressive bambooists and thus determined the fate of the August sock specimen.


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